Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Truth About Americans

Imagine a society devoted to the three most base human desires: sex, property, and popularity. Now, bankrupt its economy while inflating its ego. In an ironic twist of fate, give it half of an entire continent. Welcome to the USA. Like a crack-addicted, herpes-infected hooker shot-up with heroin and suffering from numerous collapsed veins, it's dying but it's too full of itself to acknowledge it or sometimes even to feel it.
EDUCATION■Teachers are greatly disrespected by their students and very under-paid. The fact that there always seems to be a story in the news about a teacher sexually abusing his or her students has not helped the situation.
■The US Education System is the best funded education system in the world, yet somehow it is also one the least successful. The percentage of male students who graduate from high school, by the way, has been decreasing annually.
■The only subject area in which American students score highest among their international peers is sports. By sports, I am not referring to physical education or health sciences, but to football, basketball, baseball, etc.
■High schools are incubators for STDs and unwed mothers. Over a quarter of all 14-year-old girls, for instance, have an STD. Recently in the news, there was even a high school wherein over 12% of the female student body was pregnant at one point.
■Guns, marijuana, pornography, alcohol, ecstasy, tobacco, etc., are all common in any typical high school.
■The typical student does not live with both of his or her biological parents. Divorce is at epidemic levels here, and many youth have grown cynical toward marriage itself. And, as for the typical African American female student, she might never marry, but she is likely to have several children by several different men.
■Obesity is also at epidemic levels here. Of the USA's fifty states, only Colorado has an obesity level under 20%. (Being obese is not the same as being overweight, by the way; someone with a BMI over 25 is overweight, while someone with a BMI over 30 is obese.) The USA is officially the fattest nation on Earth.
■Although a study has shown that marriages wherein husbands are at least five years older than their wives are less susceptible to divorce than are those wherein the husbands are not, it is considered discourageable for men to marry women that much younger than themselves.
■Americans are increasingly retarded – literally. For complex reasons, their psyches fail to reach adulthood until their late twenties, much later than their peers elsewhere in the world. However, they are beginning to enter puberty at increasingly earlier ages. In 2010, the average age at which females here experience menarche dropped below ten.
■Youths here like to listen to very loud music – so loud, in fact, that 20% have hearing-loss.
■The USA has an enormous child pornography problem that has only gotten worse since teens and even children have begun employing their cellphones and webcams to produce images and videos of themselves in the nude and/or engaging in sexual activities.
■Americans are champions of argumentum ad novitatem and have a low opinion of those who adhere to or promote age-old traditions, especially age-old traditions that they perceive as threats to their liberty.
■You might have heard that Americans speak English. That's not entirely accurate. Though Americans spoke proper English several decades ago, poor education and the increasing popularity of entertainment that purposefully employs poor English have resulted in a desecration of proper English grammar. Spanish, Eubonics, slang, poor education, low literacy rates, and lazy grammar are ruining English in America.


In the USA, one is free to enjoy liberty from family and other social, religious, or political establishments. One is also free from others' judgment or criticism. Only when the exercising of one's liberty directly threatens the liberty of another does the law intervene.

Rebellion: If one feels that he or she is experiencing an unjustifiable suppression of personal liberty, one is encouraged to rebel against the suppressor, regardless of how powerful the suppressor might be. In fact, the greater the difference in power between the "suppressor" and the "suppressed," the better. The weaker the suppressed is, the more support he or she can expect to receive from Americans. Consequently, Americans promote democracy and loathe anything that even resembles dictatorships. Children are encouraged to rebel against their parents.

Individualism: Ideally, one is not to depend upon anyone else. One is not to strive to please anyone else. One is not to in any way subjugate one's self or the expression of one's self to anyone else.

Love: Here, we are not referring to empathy, charity, or self-sacrifice. The "love" to which we are referring here is a pleasurable chemical reaction in the brain with a dash of mystery. In the USA, this love is considered magical, omnipotent, everlasting, and worth more than even one's family. It's the drug-of-choice. This has been due to such things as Shakespeare and lots of Disney films, which use "love" as a magical plot device. It's also employed in virtually all other media in the States. Shakespeare’s and Disney's works have been so influential that marriages not founded upon love are now discouraged, and marriages wherein love is no longer experienced are considered dead.

Because Americans have the above perspective on life, they naturally do a lot of unwise things and make a number of foolish decisions, resulting in lives characterized by failure. So many of their lives have become so characterized by failure that they have literally redefined success. It is now part of their culture to rejoice in failure, as failures provide merely additional authorities against which one has the opportunity to rebel. Adding to this embrace of disaster have been the innumerable mottos and pithy sound-bites concocted to encourage that pro-failure perspective, including, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all" (Samuel Butler); “I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself” (Brittany Renée); and, “Never regret something that once made you smile” (Amber Deckers). Understandibly, those who live successful lives sans regrets are thought not to exist by Americans.

In conclusion, if you have traditions, Americans will break them; if you have chaste daughters, American men will seduce, impregnate, and then reject them; if you have a stable society, they will inject a dose of chaos. If you have health, Americans will give you STDs. If you have stable marriages, Americans will break them.

If radical Islam were to ever take over the USA, the 9/11 hijackers would be considered heroes. If ever children frowned upon their new nation, their parents would say to them, "How dare you spit upon the noble sacrifices of those men who gave their lives that you might be able to worship Allah properly in this beautiful land." Martyrdom, be it for one cause or another, be it on the battlefield or in a busy city center, does not justify the causes for which men are martyred.

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